Friends

Have you ever wander what friendship means?

It is "the state of being friends" or "one attached to another by affection or esteem" as Merriam Webster Online Dictionary explains it. However, there is a lot more to it.

Being a friend with somebody is having the chance to tell that person your deepest secrets, thoughts, and emotions and knowing that this person will listen to you unbiased, knowing that he or she will give you an advice if needed but not judge you, be there whenever you need it asking no questions why and love you knowing all about your bad sides. Your spouse comes one step closer being your sexual partner and being the person that you have promised to spend the rest of your life with.

How many of you truly believe that you have somebody that you can call at 2.59 am in the morning and ask them to come and pick you up and drop you to the airport because there is an emergency and you need to leave immediately. How many of your acquaintances will come without questioning themselves why you did not call a cab. Going to more extreme circumstances, if you need a kidney transplantation, how many of them will share one of theirs with you? To tell you the truth, I even don't know how many of my closest people that I consider friends will do it. Maybe because I leave 10 000 miles away from the people I think are my best friends and maybe because I am still not sure how long does it take to build such a relationship and reach that kind of closeness, trust, respect, tolerance, and affection with the ones I met in US.

I have several friends here but I am not sure that you can create such a connection with somebody for such a short time such as two years or less. Or, am I right?

I remember when I saw E. It was in a nightclub. I just had a glimpse of her but her face stayed with me for a long time , long enough to recognize her when I saw her few week later in a restaurant. I knew that there must be something special about this person since I was keeping a memory of an individual completely unrelated to me. I decided to start a conversation and figure out what made me pay attention to her. This was one of the moments I will never forget because it was my first conversation with one of my best friend that I will do anything for. The next day, since I did not take her number, I had to figure out how to connect with her again. So I went on myspace.com and luckily she had an account. I left her a message and she called me later on the same day. The next thing I knew, we are inseparable. I am friends with her for almost two years. My other friend, K, I know for only one year but she knows things about me as much as I do. I do believe actually that you need some time to built trust in a relationship but I strongly believe that from the moment you see a person you unconsciously appraise this individual whether he or she is similar to you in understandings and aspirations.

I have this other friend with whom it is the complete opposite because when I met her I thought that we do not have anything in common. She meets people all the time because she goes out every night. She has a big problem because the people she thinks are her friends after two weeks of clubbing together let her down. Actually, her problem is not that people that she knows disappoint her but the fact that she is actually the one that is not trying to built close relationships with anybody. She just drops you out of her life if you do not have any "time to waste" clubbing every night. At the end, her few true friends who knows the way she is and love her boundlessly like me and E are always there when she needs somebody to wipe her tears.

I am writing all this because I want you to think about your friends and start appreciating more what you have. Some day, since you never know what is going to happen to your family, they maybe the only ones that will give you a hand in a tough situation.

Others are more important than I am to myself? What a delusion......

How many of you think that you can change the world? I guess that not that many people believe that they can make a difference. Guess what? If you believe that you can do something and make life around you more pleasant, it is up to you to work on that "project".
What have you done lately that you can be proud of? Most of you probably start thinking about the greatest success in their life but I mean something that changed other person's life.
Think hard, harder. Nothing comes to your mind?
Do you wonder why?
In this capitalist world, it is all about ME, ME, ME. They really do not teach you at school how to work in a team, they just put you in one and expect you to do what is required. Nobody thinks that when you are forcefully placed in a team, the group ends up separating the tasks and each member of the "team" does their part individually. In that manner, it is clear who does not do his or her part and it is made sure that this person is penalized since the rest of the team is going to share the problem with the professor by going to his or her office or by submitting the peer evaluation forms that are require if you have a group project. In return, the teacher is going to decrease the grade of the particular student not caring what was the reason and why did this student did not do their job.
I came to study in US because of the opportunities. At least this is what I thought.
" If you are smart and hard - working person, you can succeed. " This is what everybody was telling me. However, this is not the case.
I am graduating a very prestigious school, with an excellent GPA, great work experience, and I cannot find a job. The simple reason is that I have an accent. For some reason, the country that has been created by immigrants does not give opportunity for its "own" people. Moreover, if you start with an average job, you are stuck with it forever. Nobody will hire somebody that was a manager at some unknown boutique toy store to become a Territory Sales Manager at an S&P500 company no matter how intelligent, ambitious, eager to excel that person is. Moreover, when they deny you the job, the excuse is something like "Mrs. XXX,

Thank you for giving us the opportunity to talk with you and learn more about your qualifications.

We do appreciate your interest in YYY, but are unable to extend an offer of employment at this time.

We will maintain your application in our active file for one year. Again, thank you for your interest in YYY."


I am still wondering, in this country where writing a cover letter and a thank you letter is a must, then why the interviewer does not show the slightest courtesy and call the interviewee with a clear explanation why he or she does not fit this position. If anyone has an answer, please share it with me.

To answer one of my questions, I am going to tell you what I did this summer. I helped a person that I knew for only one month to enroll to go to college. I took the time to research whether a person with currently illegal status can attend a college, then took the time to go personally to the school and enroll this individual who had dropped out of school at the age of 15 to pursue for personal reasons.

I just wish that each one of us can do something for somebody they know. Then we can all be self - actualized and Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs will not be thought at school anymore.